I need an overhaul!

One of the truly “great” things about depression I’ve found is, you really don’t care about your appearance. I have gone to work many a time looking like my clothes were selected at random, in the dark, during some kind of game show where I was against the clock. As long as I was dressed, I didn’t care. The same thing went for my hair. Most days I would brush it and pop it into a ponytail without any thought. I’d go for a week without washing it as the thought alone of going in the shower was too tiring, let alone bothering to actually go in.

I’m 38 now. This November, I’ll be 39. NEXT November, I’ll be 40. I have no sense of who I am fashion wise, as I have spent most of my life with depression and it was all I could do to survive whatever crisis I was dealing with, let alone think, “ooh this skirt is cute, what shoes should I wear?” Nope, whichever shoes were nearest were it, for me.

Even now, as I write this blog post, I like the idea of discovering my “inner Jenny” and what “inner Jenny likes”. Though the idea is starting to float away from me now, like early morning fog, and it will probably be consigned to the “good ideas for when I have the capacity” drawer, like pretty much every idea I have.

I do want to try though. You may find I blog/Instagram some “OOTD” or “Outfit Of The Day” posts in the future. I hope I do. This means that it was an exceptional day, where, first thing in the morning (weirdly, the time when I’m at my best), I managed to put an outfit together constructively.

I just watched Victoria Beckham on James Corden’s The Late Late Show, wearing exceptionally high high heels. I won’t be wearing high heels, and knowing that at least is helpful; not only do I need to discover what I do want to wear, I also need to discover what I don’t want to wear.

I do need to dye my hair, but I am petrified of becoming one of those women who has an allergic reaction to the dye and whose face blows up like a pufferfish. I do like the dye from Manic Panic though as it’s Para-phenylenediamine (PPD) free, ammonia free and peroxide free, and I think it’s the PPD that worries me the most about dyeing my hair. Watch this space on that, I guess!

Sorry that there have been a few mentions to my depression recently, I know people a lot of the time don’t want to hear someone’s got depression, as “we all have problems”. Yes, I know we all have problems, but expecting people to repress their depression to make you feel better and less awkward is unreasonable.

I’m hoping that by writing all of this down that I’ll somehow inspire myself to actually muster up the brain energy to do this. I hope so!

The weight race: the final verdict

20161231-the-weight-race-2016

In January of this year, me and Michelle decided to go vegan for lots of different reasons, but for me being lactose intolerant was one of the main reasons.

One of the happy outcomes of this lifestyle change was; the weight started coming off me really easily. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, so losing weight isn’t exactly easy but I have to say that being vegan is really suiting my body. As well as going vegan, we also dropped refined sugar, which has really helped too.

I just calculated that this year I have lost a whopping 2st 3lbs, which I am really happy with! This is the lowest I have weighed in the 8 years that Michelle and I have been together, and therefore the lowest weight I’ve been in my 30s! I’m excited to see how much I will lose in 2017, as we will be starting back in the gym in January after a bout of ill health stopped us going in.

Bring on 2017! πŸ™‚

Amy’s amazing health story

I was catching up with my YouTube subscriptions and I spotted a really helpful video that I thought I would share, in case anyone finds it interesting.

Amy was told when she was 16 that, due to osteoporosis, she would likely need a wheelchair full-time by the time she was 25. Last year, when she was 19, she decided to become vegan, and after only a few months, she was able to go back to work, where previously she had been off work sick. Also, when she saw doctors about 6 months ago, they said she wouldn’t need a wheelchair until she was at least 60.

I’m so pleased for her! Being told such devastating news at a young age must have been so hard, but it’s great that through changing her diet to vegan, she’s managed to improve her health and her life so much!

I’m not here to try and convert anyone, I just wanted to share in case this was useful, plus with all of the doom and gloom in the news, it’s nice to see a happy story Β πŸ™‚

Less than 16 weeks to go!

But, to what you may ask! Well, it’s my 38th birthday in November and I am planning on going somewhere really fun and important to me, but I can’t tell you where yet as it’s top secret!

Sadly our car stopped working on Monday and we don’t have the money to get it fixed yet, so for now I am walking to work, which is 2.3 miles. There and back gives me exercise of 4.6 miles a day, which takes about an hour each way, so two hours in total. It was day 1 yesterday, which went fine, but I was so stiff when I got up today!

I’m currently 14st 8lbs so I’m hoping toΒ lose a couple of stones with all of the walking (I only eat 1500 calories of healthy vegan food each day so hopefully it should be easy!), I’m hoping to be around the 12st mark by the big day.

Wish me luck! πŸ™‚

Weigh(t) to go – July 2016

Hello, happy July! (I know, I know, I’m a bit late with that greeting!)

I have been utterly rubbish at going in the gym since the last post in May, I was working flat out on issue 2 of the magazine, as well as working full-time in my day job, so the gym was theΒ lastΒ thing on my mind every evening! Weirdly, I have actually lost weight but I’m not going to complain that I don’t understand how.

With regards to my weight loss, I was 14 stones 7lbs (203lbs/93kg) at the start of this month, which means I have lost 7lbs (3kg) in 2 months, which I’m really happy with. I know that people say that the slower you lose it, the more likely you are to keep it off, so that works for me!

Here’s my latest infopic. So, since 11th January I have lost a total of 2 stones 1lbs, which I’m really happy about! Onwards and upwards and I really hope that I can report back in in August with another weight loss πŸ™‚

The weight race- (non-IG)- 01-07-16

Weigh(t) to go – May 2016

Hello, happy May!

I don’t know about you, but the first third of the year for me was shockingly bad, and watching the clock count down to midnight last night felt like New Year’s Eve. I’m so glad to see the back of January-April, and I am excited to see what May-August brings!

With regards to my weight loss, I am exactly 15 stones (210lbs/95kg) this morning, which is a nice place to be at the start of the month. I recorded in my blog post “So hello 2015!” which was on 11th January 2015, that I wasΒ 16st 8lbs (232lbs/106kg), so I have lost 1 stone 8lbs (22lbs/11kg) in 16 months, which I’m really happy about!

The weight loss did start coming off quicker once I went vegan on 1st January this year, and I started back in the gym recently, so I’m hoping that when I do my next weight update on 1st June that I will have lost even more! πŸ™‚

To help me to see how far I’ve come, I’ve created a little infopic for myself πŸ™‚

The weight race- (non-IG)- 01-05-16

Weigh(t) to go…

So, today was my first day back in the gym and Emma Stone is going to tell you how my muscles feel right about now.

giphyES

I have 3 stones 3lbs to lose (to take me to my target weight of 12 stones), and I’d love to do this by the end of the year. 2017 as a skinnie Minnie would be amazing!

I’m not looking forward to getting up in the morning, especially as I work on the second floor of the building…

#365Project #Day4: I’m on the road again. Okay, it’s a treadmill

Day 4 - treadmill

Welcome to day 4 of the 365 Project*. It’s been aaaaaages since I’ve been on the treadmill, but I thought with Christmas over, it was time to work off some of the damage caused by Stollen bites and Quality Street. I walk for an hour on the treadmill, at a heady 2.2 miles per hour but I’m hoping to get faster! I’ve got 4 stones 7 lbs to lose, which I’m hoping to do by the end of this year. That’s 63lbs, which is only 1.2lbs a week, which is totally do-able!Β By the way, the dark patches in my shoes are just shadows as the light wasn’t brilliant!

* This post was written on Sunday 10th January, which is day 10, as I’m slightly behind with posting!

Vegan recipes I’ve spotted on Pinterest

Even though we haven’t yet transitioned over to being vegan, I’m getting really excited about going vegan fully. It won’t be without its issues though as between us we also need to avoid bread, honey, soy and chickpeas, so nice and easy, eh? I have recently become addicted to Pinterest (I’m a late adopter) and I have been pin-pin-pinning so many vegan recipes. Below are my favourites so far and I am going to make them all at some point πŸ™‚

Lemon Herb Roasted Potatoes

Vegan Lentil Curry

An existential crisis

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why

I’ve always loved that quote. Though, at the ripe old age of 37, I’m still waiting for my “why” to present itself to me. I have been in full time employment since I was 17, and none of the permanent jobs that I’ve ever had have been real “Yes! This is what I want to do for the rest of my life! jobs” I’ve had a few public sector temp jobs that were close, but sadly the opportunity to stay on permanently wasn’t an option. So, what to do? I’m hoping to find out one day but like Diana Ross, I’m still waiting 😦